Zero's Improper Introduction
by Windrises
Summary: A parody of Zero meeting the Black Knights and proving himself to them. Also, a parody of the episode where Lelouch's secret identity is put at risk, thanks to Arthur the cat.


Note: Code Geass is an anime that was done by the studio Sunrise.

Kallen Stadtfeld and the other members of the Black Knights were hanging out, next to a train. Kallen's cellphone started ringing. Kallen's teammates didn't have much going on in their lives, so they looked at her, while she was on the phone. Kallen asked, "Who's there?"

Lelouch was on the other end of the phone. He said, "Come to the train and bring your friends. I have a surprise for you."

Kallen angrily said, "You didn't tell me your name."

Lelouch replied, "Even though you should be able to easily recognize my voice, you don't know who I am and you probably won't find out, for a long time. This is Zero. Just come to the train." He hung up.

Kallen looked back at her teammates and said, "That mysterious Zero guy wants to meet with us. Should we?"

Ohgi said, "We have nothing better to do, so let's do it."

Kallen and the others got on the train. They moved past the crowds of people and went into a darkly-lit room. Lelouch popped out of the shadows, in his Zero costume. This was the first time, that Kallen and the others got to see his outfit. Zero thought it looked like a superhero outfit, but Kallen thought it looked like a Halloween costume.

Zero said, "Greetings, I am Zero."

Kallen asked, "What do you want from us?"

Zero answered, "Your trust and respect."

One of the background members said, "But we don't know who you are. We don't even know what your face looks like."

Zero replied, "You're a minor character, so your opinion doesn't count. Besides, despite the fact that you don't properly know me, I've already been incredibly useful."

Ohgi sighed and said, "I don't like to admit it, but you've been far more useful than I ever was."

Zero's conversation was interrupted by a sudden TV announcement. A female reporter said, "Suzaku Kururugi has been arrested and will be put on trial, for the murder of Prince Clovis. Even though he probably didn't do it, Jeremiah Gottwald thinks Suzaku should be arrested anyways. When asked why, Jeremiah Gottwald had this to say."

The reporter played a clip of Jeremiah saying, "Why not?"

Zero turned off the TV and said, "Such disgraceful behavior. However, it gives me to a chance to prove my potential. I will save Suzaku, in order to prove my self-worth."

Ohgi replied, "Noble intentions, but such a thing is impossible."

Kallen said, "Suzaku's being heavily-guarded by Jeremiah and his men. It'd be impossible to get him free."

Zero replied, "Then I'll make the impossible a reality, which will earn me your respect."

Meanwhile, Jeremiah and Villetta were having a meeting with Diethard Ried, the man who broadcasted Prince Clovis' funeral. Jeremiah faced Diethard, while saying, "You didn't do a bad job. Plus, you have nice hair. Would you be interested in a higher-position, like a job in the military?"

Diethard answered, "That's not really my style. I prefer to exploit gossip and people's personal lives, for my own amusement."

Jeremiah replied, "Fair enough. You'll be in charge of broadcasting Suzaku's arrest."

Villetta looked at him and said, "Jeremiah, there's some people, who are smart enough to know Suzaku is innocent. They might try to ruin the event."

Jeremiah angrily replied, "If those common-sense people show up, I'll get them out of the way."

Several hours later, Suzaku was in a truck, being guarded by Jeremiah and his men. Several people were watching the event, because there was nothing good on TV. Suzaku said, "Let me go. I'm not guilty."

Jeremiah angrily replied, "I don't care if you're innocent or not."

Zero popped out of the shadows and sarcastically said, "Such noble sentiments."

Suzaku, Jeremiah, and the others were surprised to see Zero, since he hadn't made any other public appearances. Jeremiah said, "I could just shoot you, but instead, I'm going to ask a bunch of drivel. What's up with the costume?"

Zero stylistically had his cape blow in the wind, while saying, "It's my superhero costume. I'm going to make the world a more peaceful place and be a positive example for people, even though I'm going to do a lot of immoral things. I am Zero!"

Diethard had been watching Zero's entrance. He put his hand on his chin, while asking, "His name's Zero? Talk about being a nobody." He paused and said, "However, his cape is so awesome looking, not to mention the rest of his costume." He had an excited look on his face, while saying, "I'm going to start a Zero fan-club."

Zero started walking closer to Jeremiah, while saying, "I'm going to be taking Suzaku."

Jeremiah replied, "No you won't. Even though I could easily stop you with a single bullet, I'm just going to keep jabbering on and not pose any kind of threat to you."

Zero responded, "I'm glad to hear that. It gives me a chance to defeat you." He used his geass on Jeremiah and said, "Let Suzaku and me go."

Jeremiah replied, "Okay then." He looked at his men and said, "Let the prisoner go."

One of his men responded, "But that's the opposite of what you hired us to do."

Jeremiah said, "I'm such a lackluster antagonist, Zero and Suzaku probably would of escaped, even if I wasn't being hypnotized." The men shrugged and released Suzaku. Zero picked him up and ran away.

The Black Knights had been watching Zero's performance. Tamaki frowned and said, "Even though Zero did a good job, I'm going to yell and complain, because I'm a useless comedy relief." He started his daily whining.

Ohgi said, "You gotta give Zero some credit. He did the impossible. I can't even do the mundane."

Meanwhile, Zero and Suzaku had a meeting, while still outside. Suzaku looked at him and said, "Thank you for saving me."

Zero replied, "Zero problems, my dear Suzaku. Don't you see how corrupt the Britannians are? They put you on trial and we're going to arrest you, because of something you didn't do."

Suzaku responded, "Believe me, I know how corrupt and misguided they are."

Zero asked, "Then why are you a part of the Britannian military?"

Suzaku stupidly said, "I believe that being a part of the enemy's team and helping them with their mission will help me save the people, that they're trying to destroy."

Zero angrily replied, "That doesn't make sense."

Suzaku said, "It may not make sense, but doing corrupt, stupid things and then acting like I'm the better man is my philosophy."

Zero stuck his hand out and replied, "I'm giving you a chance, to stop being a hypocritical dummy. Listen to me and join my team."

Suzaku shook his head and responded, "No, you're a vigilante, so I'd keep helping the antagonists. If you'll excuse me, I have a trial to go to."

Zero angrily replied, "Don't be gullible. You're getting a trial, because they want to make you look guilty and eliminate you."

Suzaku responded, "Eh, I don't mind. Have a good one." Suzaku walked away, while Zero rolled his eyes.

A week later, Lelouch was prancing around his house, when he saw C. C. He nervously asked, "What are you doing here?"

C. C. said, "I'm the show's main female-character?"

Lelouch asked, "Are you sure about that? I forgot you even existed."

C. C. went to the kitchen and said, "I don't have time to talk to you. I have something much more important, to do." She pointed a Pizza Hut box at you and said, "Hi, audience. This show is sponsored by Pizza Hut. That's why the writers have decided to make me obsessed with pizza." She stuffed an entire pizza down her mouth, while saying, "This stuff's the best. If you don't buy pizza, we'll keep advertising it. If you buy five pizzas, we'll give you two coupons."

The next morning, Lelouch found that his school had a new student: Suzaku. Lelouch was pleasantly surprised to see Suzaku. Even though he and Suzaku had conflicting world-views, they were childhood buddies.

After class was over, Lelouch and Suzaku went outside and gave each other high-fives. Lelouch said, "Suzaku, it's so great to see you. How have you been?"

Suzaku replied, "Well, when we were kids, I was mildly hypocritical. Over the years, I've become a complete prick."

Lelouch patted his friend on the back and said, "I'm glad to hear that."

Suzaku asked, "How have you been?"

Lelouch proudly said, "I've been a troublemaking punk, so life's been pretty good."

Meanwhile, Arthur, the Student Council's cat, started walking around Lelouch's place. Lelouch's identity, as Zero, was an important thing to hide. Despite that, Lelouch left his Zero mask hanging around the living room. While fiddling around, Arthur accidentally got the Zero mask on his head. Lelouch returned home and saw that Arthur had his Zero mask on. He nervously said, "Oh no. That cat could ruin my secret-identity. I'm the most undignified superhero, that isn't a member of the Teen Titans." He tried to get the mask back, but Arthur started running outside, so Lelouch followed him. Since hundreds of students were outside, several of them saw the Zero mask, meaning they knew Zero was probably a Ashford Academy student. However, let's ignore that, for the sake of Lelouch's sanity.

Milly Ashford heard there was a cat running around, that had something Lelouch wanted. Even though Milly claimed to be a caring friend, deep down, she was a goofy troll. Because of that, she grabbed the school's intercom, which the Principal foolishly gave her access to, and said, "Attention, ladies and gentleman. I know you're busy with your after-school activities, but forget about all of that and help me make Lelouch's life more difficult. There's a cat running loose, across Ashford Academy. Whoever catches it and brings it to me will get a kiss from any Student Council member of their choosing."

Lelouch heard the announcement and said, "Milly, this isn't the type for your trolling." He became even more determined to find the cat.

Kallen was a Student Council member. Because of that, she feared whoever caught the cat, would want a kiss from her. Kallen had never had her first-kiss and this cartoonish situation wasn't exactly the right place, for a first kiss. She started running around the hallways of Ashford Academy, which led to her accidentally bumping into Shirley Fenette. Shirley was at her swimming class, when the announcement was made, and she was still in her swimsuit. Kallen said, "Shirley, why don't you get changed?"

Shirley replied, "I don't have time. If somebody catches the cat, I might have to kiss some dorky student. I need to save my dignity."

Kallen raised an eyebrow and asked, "Wouldn't getting on your regular clothes be a better way, to save your dignity?"

Shirley shook her head and said, "No, even though it'd only take a few minutes, I don't have time for that."

Kallen took off her jacket and replied, "At least put this on." Shirley nodded and put the jacket on. The two ladies looked around and found Arthur.

While running after the cat, Lelouch bumped into Suzaku. Lelouch nervously said, "Suzaku, what are you up to?"

Suzaku calmly answered, "I'm looking for the cat."

Lelouch looked stressed-out, so he said, "Oh no."

Suzaku replied, "By the way, what does the cat have on his head?"

Lelouch said, "It's clearly a mask. Thankfully, people seem to have bad eye-sight today, so my identity is safe." He and Suzaku found the cat and started chasing the cat up a tower. Suzaku was much faster than Lelouch, because Lelouch was lazy and rarely did any kind of exercise.

Eventually, Lelouch, Suzaku, and Arthur were at the top of the tower. Suzaku got distracted by one of C. C.'s Pizza Hut ads, which gave Lelouch a chance to grab Arthur and run away. Suzaku looked back and saw that Lelouch and the cat were gone. He shrugged and started climbing down the tower.

Suzaku started talking to Milly and Shirley, about what happened. Suzaku noticed Shirley's appearance, so he asked, "How come you're wearing a swimsuit and a jacket?"

Shirley said, "To save my dignity."

Suzaku replied, "If you say so."

A few minutes later, Lelouch returned, along with the cat. Lelouch had a better hiding spot for his mask, so he faced Milly and said, "Your trolling failed."

Milly replied, "Drat."

The students were asked to come to the assembly room, so they could watch a live TV broadcast of Emperor Charles' speech. Lelouch was already frowning, at the mere sight of the Emperor, and it was hard to blame him.

Emperor Charles had an overdramatic look on his face, while saying, "Attention, citizens of Britannia. I'm a very offensive person, who's hating on the entire race of Japan. Despite that, you'll love me and my speeches, because I'm powerful, rich, and old, so I know what I'm talking about. I am the main character's arch-enemy, even though I didn't do anything in the first five episodes and I won't have a good amount of screentime or do anything, throughout the show. Despite that, you'll remember me well, because I'm overly-evil and corny. My plans are jarring and don't make sense, I have no moral standards, and my hair is the worst. You will ignore my flaws and love my hate-sink way of acting. All hail me and my biased, offensive words." The Emperor's loyal, but foolish followers bowed to him and chanted his name, while Lelouch tried to make the most overdramatic frown, that he could muster.


End file.
